The man took us on a journey that began with him bragging about being “a real gangster and pimp,” to a reminder that he belonged to a family of attorneys, to then entertaining a monetary deal where they could continue to converse and potentially have sexual intercourse.
Like the vast majority of women online, Haley Tabaszewski, 31, of Holland, Michigan, gets frequent friend requests and messages from men whom she does not know IRL.
She told BuzzFeed News she usually defaults to ignoring them, or sending a quippy response. However, this week, she tried something new.
She was inspired by a viral Facebook post shared by a woman named Lisa Lee Curtis last year. BuzzFeed News has reached out to Curtis.
“I recently saw a post a friend shared where a woman simply responded by requesting money. I found that absolutely hilarious, but also effective at conveying the whole point that she had no interest in entertaining his advances,” said Tabaszewski.
On Tuesday, when she received a friend request and message from a man who began coming onto her, she decided to try this out.
Tabaszewski said when she received a friend request from a man named James, who she shared four mutual Facebook friends with, she messaged him first to make sure she did not forget meeting him at some point.
“Nine times out of 10 I get a response very similar to his — something along the lines of ‘no, but you’re gorgeous’ or ‘no but I’d like to.’ And that irritates the hell out of me,” she said.
After James did respond back with “Nope but I think ur gorgeous,” Tabaszewski promptly responded with a request for $25.
“Please remit $25 for response,” she wrote to James, sending another request.
James, who was initially confused, quickly turned offended.
“I got So many hot bitches on lock. I’m retired and only 30 years old babe,” he wrote.
Things then only escalated — and the information and responses elicited by Tabaszewski’s escalating amounts of money requests grew increasingly more interesting.
James reminded her that she was conversing with “a Real gangster and pimp,” and that he would not spend his hard-earned money on “shit that’s pointless.”
He asked her to respond to him with something more substantive than a money request. Tabaszewski responded with another money request, this time doubling the amount to $50.
James then told her that his parents and extended family members were “attorneys for the county … so I wouldn’t try any illegal.”
Tabaszewski responded with two more requests for payment and upped the ante: $150 then $2000.
In a sudden turn of events and change of heart, James said he’d now like to “remit $2000 for [him] to fuck [Tabaszewski].”
He added that while he thought Tabaszewski was “sexy as fuck,” he does not traditionally pay for conversation or sexual intercourse. So as a compromise, he offered that he pick her up, or she go to him, so they “can talk money.”
As he continued to write, he will not discuss an arrangement about money if it’s “JUST TO TALK ONLINE.” He’s afraid she will take his money and block him, he said. He’s had friends experience something similar.
Tabaszewski’s last response to him was one final request for $3000, expiring March 12.
“I found his requests for money particularly funny since he took it upon himself to brag about being rich and retired at 30 years old,” she said.
On a more sincere note, she said she was compelled to share the exchange publicly because she’s grown “absolutely frustrated.”
“I recently shared an interaction that started the same way, and ended in the person telling me I’m ugly inside and killed chivalry,” said Tabaszewski.
“Men feel the need to vocalize how they feel about women and that they feel they are entitled to a response to their opinion on our looks. Explaining that to every man who slides into my DMs is exhausting.”
She said she hopes this will “make men think twice before sending that initial friend request or creepy message.”
Mar. 07, 2019, at 19:01 PM
In a statement to BuzzFeed News, James said he suspected Tabaszewski was either a fake persona to scam him out of money.
(Tabaszewski’s profile appears to be legitimate.)
“I’ve had a family member get ducked [sp] over by a scammer. So I just reversed the roles and asked her for money,” he said.
He added that he was simply trying to ask her out.
“I was just trying to get a date with someone new and she asked me for $25 just to talk…get outta town,” said James.